 |
| x Family photo x |
Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is a non profit organization that offers services to bereaved families by taking last minute beautiful photos to help them remember their last minutes with their angels to honor their legacy.
Taking pictures of course was the last thing on my mind. I am very thankful I decided to allow their photography come into our lives and share a piece of our hearts with us, while my sweet beautiful angel was passing. I remember every moment spent in that hospital from Emery's birth leading up until her becoming an angel. I brought my own camera but I am very glad they sent Ronda to us. After seeing her work, I was crying. She made us a beautiful slideshow along with pictures and copies for each. It was so hard taking all of these pictures with her, because all I kept thinking was, "My daughter is dying...". I couldn't think clearly. It was so hard seeing my little precious angel knowing there was nothing I could do. I hated the feeling of feeling helpless while watching my daughter take her last breath here on earth. I was supposed to protect her and I couldn't do anything for her. My sweet Emery, I love you.
 |
| x Daddy holding Emmy's feet x |
This was one of the first photos taken when Ronda arrived at the NICU. Since we were notified so late about everything was happening, we didn't have time to go home and bring some of her outfits. That is one of my biggest regrets. I wished I would of brought some of her outfits from home. We weren't planning on this happening. We weren't planing on losing our daughter. The hospital once again provided us an outfit for my Emery. I hate that I never brought anything of hers with us when we visited. The hospital staff were really strict with everything we brought in or took out, it was crazy. Good thing I took my pics and videos regardless of their rules and regulations because now I have something to hold on to. For once I appreciated my "carefree" personality. (:
 |
| x Saying Goodbye x |
This was taken when we were first told Emery wasn't going to make it. My mom was heartbroken. She was looking forward to helping take care of Em. Along with them two are my younger sisters Alexis and Katarina. Alexis was looking at Emery's heart monitor. We were told her heart had to be at a stable rate anywhere between 70-100 in order for her to be eligible for surgery. Sadly, the highest my little girl ever went was 62. It was really hard to watch her heart monitor go up and down. Every time it went up, my heart was racing hoping it would reach the maximum number allowed just so they can do surgery. I remember the loud alarm that would sound every time the number went so low and I even jumped a few times wanting to help my daughter. I didn't want to see her like that, not knowing if she was in pain or not. She was heavily sedated and that's another one of my regrets. I wasn't even sure she could hear my voice or not - the nurse told me she could. Every single time I spoke to Emery her heart monitor raised and stayed until I finished speaking. I knew my baby felt my presence. I knew she was trying to stay strong for me and it hurt to see her suffering.
 |
| x Big sister, Desirey x |
This is one of the most beautiful photos of the session. This is a picture of my 2 daughters, Desirey & Emery. Here, she was confused by everyone taking pictures of her all at once which is why she was crying. She loved her baby sister the minute she saw her. All she wanted to do was hold her and give her kisses. Desirey is my oldest daughter who just turned 3. She has the most loving personality that will warm your heart right away. Desirey has a shy quality about her until she gets to know you a little better. I am so thankful she allowed us to surround her and swarm her with cameras and orders. Under pressure, she did pretty good and I am so happy and amazed at how her session came out in the end. Thank you my love, for spending time with us and your baby sister.
 |
| x Em holding Daddy's hand x |
Another beautiful photo of Em and her dad. I wasn't around at the time they began shooting the session and had no idea some of the ones we got back were even taken. I'm so happy and thankful for Ronda. She was a big part of this and shared a part of our Emery's lives although it was when we were saying goodbye. She had the softest hands ever! I could of held them all day long. But because of the hospital staff and their rules we weren't able to touch or hold Emery until they told us she was passing away. Of course that angered me because we spent these whole 2 days just smiling or taking pictures and now, because she wasn't going to make it they finally allowed us to touch her. I will never get over that and will always blame them for that because we've missed out on even holding her as soon as she was born because all I wanted was for them to heal her and make her better. I just miss her so much. Please watch over us, pretty girl.
Love always,
Mommy xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment